The Greatest Love Letter I Have Ever Written

Dear Owee,

You are turning two years old today. Our journey together for 9 months in my womb was great. But it has been so amazing when we got to see each other. Indeed, that moment is eternal.

For two years, we've been through a lot of tough times. You got sick and we got anxiety attacks everytime it happens. You got fast turn-over of yayas. (hehehe...said u're too heavy to carry. joke). But that's nothing compared to the purest of joy you have given us. From just lying to crawling to walking, eating, saying da-da-da... to ma-ma-ma, to pa-pa-pa, to "tudi", to "no" and to saying "no babay" everytime I'd kiss you when I'm off to work... life has been superb!

You are now on the "terrible stage". We are expecting more jumping, more basketball, more soccer games, running, rolling over, tumbling, more head bumps, climbing on the stairs, more videoke breaks, more strings pulled in the guitar, frequent opening of the refrigerator, more broken crayons, more toys junked, more friendships made around the neighborhood, and of course, more laughter around the house. (i like the last one)... and many more....

For two years, we've always been amused on new things you we're able to learn and do. And I am always excited to see you get interested on books, numbers, videoke, sports, and many others. Keep on learning Wee-Wee, go beyond and explore. Don't be afraid in taking risks. Mama will just kiss the hurt away. You know very well that Mama can do that, right?

So on your 2nd birthday and beyond, I pray that you enjoy everything! Learn from the world, grow and be wise. You are being loved more than you'll ever know.

I Love You!

Forever,

Mama

P.S.

This is just from me. Papa has got more to tell you... You two are inseparable.

Life101: "Maamaa".... it's the sweetest name a human being has ever called me.

THIS IS NOT FOR YOU

mam jijit: aju kay nilungtad pod ka anang sitwasyon sa ITS SAFE yor?

me: mao gyud ni nga trabaho akong gipangita mam... (way labot ang pgpangita ug among sweldo. hehehe)

mam jijit: ah... so advocate ka ug social enterprise/social development...

That's it. It took me 5 years to discover my calling. It has always been my desire to help people to help themselves thru what God has given me.It's like using your own talents for the benefit of others. I believe that people are meant for each other. One can not live for himself alone. For what purpose will there be for our parents, brothers, sisters, friends, bf/gf, husband, wife...so on... if we are only to live for our own?

My first job has contributed much to who I am today.That was the perfect job for a fresh graduate. I owe the Alturas Group of Companies for the technical know how that I have learned. And my first boss, Mr. Leonard Alturas, is still #1 on my list. It took me until 2011 to be free from the feeling of guilt for leaving the company when he needed me the most. For now, I could freely greet him for every chance of meeting at ICM.

The 2nd job was a dream come true. I wanted to be a teacher in food technology. Indeed, I became one. I had this crazy bond with my students. In fact, I never felt that I was a teacher. I was there to share. Sometimes I forget that I was paid to do it. But still, there was something missing. And so, I prayed.

This 3rd job is the answer. It came when I never really expected it. I was just temporarily happy bumming around until an afternoon call changed the course of my career. This job is exactly what I prayed for. I am able to share what I have, for other people to learn and get inspired by it. And with that spark of inspiration, they'd eventually do something about it which in turn would inspire another one, and another one, and many more... like a butterfly effect.

But life is all about balance. Fulfillment in this type of work entails so much sacrifices; physical, mental, emotional, and psychological bruises. (that is, if ur heart is in it) The burden that I am carrying is so heavy it got me stuck. And so it cripples me. I became ineffective and inefficient. I can not think properly, and it affects my every move. My work is a mess. Everything I do is not anymore the best that I should have done.

In my work, I get to wear so many hats. Before, I was amazed by it because every hat looked good on me. I just realized that this is not the best of me. I am not good of wearing many of them. I would always miss the original hat,the one that I have always been wearing and what makes people identify me as me.

I hope I'd be able to work again. Work, meaning to work in all my capabilities without getting burned out and to work with passion as a fuel.

You may interpret this post as a brag, an inspiration, a fact, a relevant act, or whatever. But this is an honest to goodness story telling of one's own work experience. You may, or may have no related stories to this but trust me, you wouldn't want it to happen to you. So as early as now, try to think and feel which way you wanna go.

Now stop reading this crap. I told you, this is not for you.

;-)

Let's be fair. There are millions of broken hearted people as much as there are happy couples across the globe. Say, for every happy pair, there is one heart broken of not being loved by the other. Today, Facebook is flooded with love quotes, love songs, dedications, sweet nothings, etc. And it got me thinking... what about the broken hearted ones? the lonely ones? So I made this all for you!

This is for....

the one who can't have his/her dreamboy/dreamgirl... i love you!

the one who just went into a break-up... i love you!

the married couples in rocky situation... i love you!

the couple who just separated... i love you!

the children of the separated... i love you!

the beaten children... i love you!

the children abandoned by their own mothers.... i love you!

the oldies abandoned by their own children... i love you!

the devastated... i love you!

the imprisoned... i love you!

the hopeless... i love you!

the one reading this... i love you!

You see, the list goes on with it. A lot of people are deprived of it. They hunger for it. LOVE is a generic thing. Give it to all who are in need... It's free... It's priceless!

Life101: Love one another!

Death As a Homecoming

Have you ever met a person who desires to die and be with the Creator? Who has already prepared her funeral rites while she's still alive? Who dreams of coming home to heaven and being welcomed by Mother Mary? Who is visited in a dream by a dead relative and was told to prepare because she'll be the first to die among her siblings? Yeah, it seems so morbid. Really really morbid. But this friend of mine seems so excited and cheerful about it. I never asked her why. She just told me that... She has always been attracted to death. There is something about it that makes her feel at home. And besides, she has lived her life fully with no hang ups or whatsoever. And she has this intuition that she won't live that long... And she told me stories that sort of chilled down my spines about her near death. And it slowed me down a bit. I admit, I'm a little bit afraid to die. Not because I don't know where to go in the after life (at least for now, I have the idea) but because of the loved ones I'd be leaving behind. If I'd go first before my husband, I would worry so much about him missing me and I wonder if there would be someone out there to take my place. And then there is my little one, My Owee, what would it be without his Mama? If I can only be assured for them, then I'd be ready to go Home. And I also admit that I have this feeling that I won't live that long too. I don't know why. I just feel it. I've always wanted to write about it but part of me says no. Maybe that's the coward me. Afraid to leave. But after that conversation, I am one step braver to embrace death. Does it sound morbid to you? Maybe because you're not yet ready too. hehehe....


Life 101: Death is a Homecoming. We must prepare for it, just like preparing to go home from a very nice month-long vacation. Drop your hang ups. Forgive yourself, forgive others and ask for it to those whom you had trouble with. LIVE and LOVE fully. Be intimate with God.

Build It On a Solid Rock

The past two weeks were like 15 psi. Imagine 15 lb=6.8 kilos of gas, being put inside a 1 inch square. I am pressured to death. Adding insult to injury, my baby's yaya got sick when I came back from travel and then a few days after, my baby got measles. It's almost a week now since my last full-8 hr sleep. I can't think properly. I've got loads of report to make, 5 more new products to develop, a few more meetings coming up, and preparations for the Sandugo fair. Plus, matters to settle with my pips at the office. Yet, I'm still on it, I won't be giving up. I should stay sturdy. I would love to share a little bit of what God has given me to survive the storms in life. Hope you'll learn something.

I AM...

1. Trusting - Knowing that the ups and downs of life are opportunities in disguise, I accept the journey at hand.
2. Detached - Loving without clinging, involved yet not dependent, I keep things in perspective.
3. Wise - I act, only after observing, listening and accepting.
4. Happy - The joy of being alive and in good company flows through my being.
5. Tolerant - I have the maturity to let go of expectations and the love to keep on giving.
6. Nurturing - Constantly supportive, I open up pathways by being sincere and always available.
7. Calm - I remain steady in the midst of complexity and sure at times of unease.
8. Humility lover - I value others without seeking their attention. Self respect is my inner light; I need nothing extra.
9. Self-Confident - I am in touch with my dreams and willing to work with reality.
10. Courageous - Having glimpsed the truth I hold on to it, undaunted by what I must do.
11. Cheerful - I catch the lightness of life and sense a good future.
12. Intuitive - I perceive the inner rhythm of events and allow my feelings to guide me.


All these things should keep me going. Hope these works for you too... Thank you for reading.


Life 101: You must build a certain kind of foundation within so that when strong winds come, you won't easily fall apart.

Fat Analysis

If you knew me 3-4 years ago, you would probably think that for now, I eat like there's no tomorrow. Back then I weighed only 48-50 kilograms but now I'm on 65 running to 68 kilos. No kidding. So, back to the question; Do I eat like there's no tomorrow? Answer is, I don't know. I just eat. For more than a couple of years since I noticed that I'm gaining a hell of a weight, I never came up with a contemplation why I'm having it this much. Not till now. First, I remember my psychology teacher in college said that your deprivation when you were young will most likely influence you at a certain point in life. She said when she was young, her mother never bought her dolls coz they were expensive. So on her first payday at work, she got her first doll. Since then, she went on buying some more. I remember too that when I was young, I was deprived of something. That is, delicious foods. Let me give you an idea of how my day's menu would be like. Breakfast -buwad (klase-klase) or sardines or egg or kesong puti; Lunch - same as breakfast since I bring baon at school; Dinner - law-oy (sinabawang gulay), or adobong talong, or sari-sari with buwad... etc. I even remember having coconut milk with salt as viand. Of course I never had a single idea that we had it for lunch simply because we don't have a single peso to buy 1 can of sardines. Everyday, it was like that. At Christmas, it is quite different coz we always try to make it not-like-the-other days. But I remember again a certain situation that would always pierce my heart till now. During New Year's eve, my Nanay would collect 13 different kinds of circular fruits for I-dont-know-purposes. One time she bought a little bunch of grapes like there were just five grapes on it. We were so excited to eat it, especially me coz it would be my first time. But I have 5 siblings so Nanay cut all of it and divided it so that all of us could have at least the littlest bite. (tears) I never even remembered how it tasted. Since then, grapes have always been special to me. It reminds me of sharing. There are still more stories of my delicious-food deprivation but I think it is enough to tell you just a few. When I got my own salary, I lavished my family with what I was deprived of. And then I slowly lavished myself too... So it is then that I gained weight. But more than just pigging out is the slow changing of my lifestlye. I barely exercise. Plus, the idea that I have a stable relationship and was confident that my boyfriend (my hubby now) wouldn't find another for that cheap reason kept me from staying physically sexy. My vital statisticss before was 34-25-34. Today, I can not tell it...too embarrassing. Physically, everything has changed. I am 25 and obese. If you are a fat woman reading this, you might feel that same wavelength. We might have the same experiences with how the society reacts or even more the closest people to our hearts. You might have been told face to face that you look awful in that bikini. You might have been told by a jeepney-'konduktor' that you have to double your fare coz you're seating for two. You might have envied those sexy ladies on the beach. You might have wished you were a little thinner so that the blouse you're picking will give justice to its purpose. You might have frowned when those jeans didn't fit. You might have had frequent trips to the fitting room. You might have been snobbed by a guy who was previously madly obssessed at you. You might have thought that while you and your significant other are doing 'it' he might have been thinking of somebody sexier or worse, a porn star. Worst things can happen when you are fat. But for me, had I not been fat, I would not have realized how humiliating it is. Yes, it is. If you are sexy and physically fit, you might give it a try... haha! I'm putting all these things in here because I read somewhere that to start slimming down, you better put everything in writing. So what else could have been better than starting it with your own "fat analysis"?
Life 101: It is not fat that wears down a person's heart. It's the people that surround.

It's not the world that passes by, you do.

There must be something more than just existing. Every human being must have felt this at a given point in his life. I myself have asked it for so many times and the answer would just boil down to a single thought that 'we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a human experience'.
Have you been to college? You take a subject which is a prerequisite for another. I think life is like that. Everything you do is a preparation for yet another life of (whatever you wish it would be). I believe that after this earthly experience, life is much better if and only if you do good.
Human experience is a prerequisite of something that is eternal. Everything we do is free to our own will. We are liberated. We make choices. So choose what you believe is for your own fate. Our lives, we make it.